Tuesday, December 29, 2009

why are u ignoring me again.. sometimes i feel tat u treat me hot cold hot cold....

tell me wat is happening.. why arent u talkin to me.. i wanna know ur condition now...

i wannaa kill tat guy who did tat thing to u............... why dun u tell ur bro... and there is something i wanna tell u too........... jus talk to me........ plssssssssssssss

1:23 AM

Monday, December 28, 2009

where are u?? why isnt u replyin my sms?? are u angry with me or something?? what did i do wrong? tell me pls? i will change.. jus dun ignore me...

tried to call u at 2 pls am last night coz i recive a call thinking it was u... but is it? pls? reply me? =(

10:54 AM

Sunday, December 27, 2009

wanting to talk to u....
but i didnt know it will anger u.. u didnt reply to my sms...

im tired.. after all this days i become tired.. havin sleepless nights for days... worryin abt u.. but thanks goodness u are fine afterall.. that what i wan...

i wanna tell u some stuffs.. but im tired.. wanna sleep after knowin u are safe

10:22 PM

finally u are back baby.. miss u so much.. =(

8:30 PM

rushing back from malaysia.. wantin to see u.. worryin how bad ur condition will be... hands cold.. feet cold... u know how worried i was.. u know how anxious i was abt ur condition... i was so worried tat u will leave...

but in the end everything was fake.. u werent admitted to ttsh... i asked ard.. asked so many nurses.. u werent ard... everything came as a blow to me....

i was controlling myself.. not to try on my way back home... thinking is it a game.. feeling weaker and weaker... really weaker...

maybe i didnt tell u.. my spine has soome in borne prob... havin sleepless nights... rushing here and there.. it worsen... my flu worsen.. my cough worsen... maybe im dyin soon..

6:44 PM

is all this jus a game? jus a joke??

6:32 PM

Saturday, December 26, 2009

please wake up.... i wont make u angry anymore.. jus wake up.. come back to earth... u can do anything to me.. jus wake up please... if u dun.. i will join u...

12:02 PM

i wanna go find u... what is ur ward.. ur brother is not telling me... i guess i will go and ask when i reach the hospital tmr... i dun care who is stoppin me.. i am going go find u.... even if i cant go in and find u... a look at u at least will calm me down? i dun care anymore...

11:54 AM

receiving ur sms.. by right.. it should be joyious.. but i didnt know it was such a bad new... ur bro say u were in a coma... injuring ur head arm ankle... u were reivived three times last night.. please wake up.. please... god please help...

i was really confused... i wanna go find u.... i wanna see u... but i jus cant leave.. my parents wont allow me until sunday... i argued with them.. fought with him... they placed me in m'sia, restricting me from coming back...

i become very weak.. really weak after hearing the news, i dunno wat to do anymore.. no mood to complete anything.. except urgently wantin to know ur condition..

i collasped last night... really collasped... no reply.. no more news... i fear the worst... tryin to make myself calm but i cant... i fainted... my illness worsened... no appetite...

please wake up.. u promise me that we still have a long way.. we still haven had our match yet... we still haven do wat u like yet... we still haven eat the chocolate fondue that u wan.... please wake up...

11:46 AM

WHERE ARE U NOW? ARE U OKAY? PLEASE WAKE UP

GOD.... PLEASE HELP... I WAN AKI TO WAKE UP NOW........................................................ PLEASE... TAKE MY LIFE INSTEAD.... LET AKI STAY ALIVE... I DUN WANNA ANYTHING TO HAPPEN TO AKI.. PLEASE.. LET AKI LIVE. TAKE ME INSTEAD... T.T

11:34 AM

Thursday, December 24, 2009

sorry.. didnt know u were at the funeral. i tot u were angry and didnt wan to talk to me..i jus wanna simmer ur anger down by calling u.. but it turns out bad.. sorry.. =(

5:53 PM

thankfully hearing u telling me that u wont leave. that is jus wat i needed... i know it is foolish of me to keep sitting here.. waiting for u to sms me..i hope u been taking care of urself? i know u are angry with me... i had to move house today.. my mum wan me to clean up the mess.. i really wanna talk to u after havin no contacts with u for more than 12 hours jus now.. i really didnt meant to make u angry.. i jus wanna u to be happy..

please eat something... dun fall ill like i had... coz the feeling sucks... be healthy ok....

4:34 PM

fianlly u called me.. but u dun seems interested to talk to me anymore.
i know u are tired. really hope i can be there to help u relax by givin u a massage

sorry to have send u so many smses.
from ur tone.. i feel tat u are very irritated by them. im sorry. i jus miss u.. is this wrong.?
sorry.. i wont sms u so much anymore.. i onli sms u when u sms me bahx.. i wont sms le..

feeling ill feeling sick.. lol. keep havin the feeling to vomit.

i dunno wat else to say to u.. im sorry.

11:18 AM

i feel lost... my heart is like dying... slowly... i really wanna do something silly.. to distract myself...

10:49 AM

i dunno if u will read my blog anot. i really dunno.. where are u now actually.. why couldnt i contact u... call u no reply.. sms u no reply... it has been more than 12 hours since we last contact.. are u really busy? am i really disturbing u??

im lost... really lost... i dun even know wat im doin now... u kept appearing in my mind.. but thinking the fact tat u are not replying me hurts me... where are u... i miss u.

i totally have no mood in doing anything.. i feel like im a zombie now.. no feeling.. no mood... felt like i have gone crazy... kept looking at my phone to see if u had replied me.. everytime my phone receive a sms.. u know how much i hope it was u?? do u know?

will u be able to tell me wat happen and not hide anything from me?

I REALLY MISS U
I REALLY LOVE U
BUT WHERE ARE U?

10:23 AM

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

i know my post are repetitive. but i really dunno wat to say anymore. im really confused and lost. wat my mind is thinking now is jus how to compensate the guilt to u. how to make u happy again. im really really sorry. T.T

5:25 PM

i know now u dun wanna talk to me anymore i know. i dunno wat to do to make u talk to me again.

i really feel confused. feel lost. wat i know is tat after talking to u. with u suddenly ignoring me.. im lost, dunno wat to do, no mood to do anything, trying to find ways to distract myself, blasting music thru headset till my ears hurts.

i dunno if it is fast anot. but i have fallen, fallenn for u, i dunno abt u. but wat i can say is tat i have fallen. i had nv felt this way since last yr. to be exact, it has been 1 yr 5 months and 3 days.

i know im a crybaby. but those tears are with joy, with laughter. but now the tears are with guilt with sorrow. my mind is really blank now.. i dunno if u will leave me? after so much bad things i have done.

everytime i msg u.. u reply. i msg back.. but u didnt receive. u know how scared i am, to see u angry, to see u emo? i dunno whether u did receive my reply, my sms anot. i really afraid u will leave without telling me.

i rmb telling u tat, i wan to be ur present for xmas, i wanna u happy, not sad. be joyful, not sorrow. but now.. will ur mind waver, will ur mind change? i dunno.... coz im really scared and lost...

5:10 PM

sorry to make u sad today.
i didnt know that u got attachment till sunday. i tot u were jus jokin with me as usual. i really didnt know tat u couldnt meet me. so i was jus joking with u.
i have gave u my day to u i told u tat yesterday. how would i really have plans when u are not meeting me anymore. i know u will be busy. i didnt know u have to do so many things. to attend ur ahma funeral, to go for checkup. u should have told me in advance. i know im in the wrong to say those words.

i dunno whether u can receive all my sms tat i have sent u as always. but im really really sorry. sorry for everything.

5:03 PM

无意间的我说了不应该说的话
无端端地将你激怒了
我好后悔啊

好不容易得到你的注意
但都毁在我手里

我好想哭
我只想对你说声对不起

5:03 PM

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

尝试着想把那些不愉快的回忆给埋藏起来
但不知这么搞的 它们似乎长了脚似的
一个个都跑上了脑海里
心情一下子 都被弄差了
好像重新开始
但这么一直觉得我还在原地踏步。

11:00 PM

忽然之间，心里感到有那么一丝丝失魂落魄的感觉
隐隐约约感觉生活少了那么一丁点什么

10:54 PM

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

hmmm.. woah.. it has been a long time since i come to blog and write something here.. almost 9 months le u supposed? if im supposed to talk about everything tat happens within these 9 months... it would take like days and nights... lolx.

A level is finally coming to an end. ^^. time to celebrate for J2s lolx.. but i somehow feel very guilty about A lvl.. coz i didnt study?? if i really do badly for it.. i would have to only myself to blame on? for no reason, i seems to have lost the stamina for studying. i cant seems to concentrate like i did for prelims.. wat i know is i keep falling asleep when i see exam papers and everything? sianz

now.. i should be studying for like the bio mcq tat is coming up on thurs to pull my grades up? but then.. i see the qns i feel like sleeping le.

been working to earn as much money as possible b4 i go in NS sia.. lolx.. so tiring..

would prom be a blast this fri??

P.S.. i know my post suck this time XP

11:38 PM

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

好不知所措啊
今天不小心得罪了你
让你生气了
好后悔 好内疚

心情变得很乱 很低落
变得什么话都不想说

我现在该这么做

9:58 PM

Monday, November 17, 2008

What a bloody day..!!

Have you ever wonder how books can make you bleed? lolx.. It is easy.. just take your fingers and hit it against a hardcover book. And tata~!!! You get a bloody thumb or watsoever.. lolx

Was like doing my usual stock taking chores.... And without looking.. I hit a damn thick book which is like 4 times the H2 Economics book and a HARD cover... bleeding like hell la.. touch water can like pain for 5 mins? lolx...

Hate books now.. Made me lost so much things.. Made me lost BLOOD which is like consists so many things? EG. water, RBC, WBC, platelets, haemoglobin, iron, carbon dioxide, oxygen, hydrocarbonate ions, etc etc.. lolx..

I think I'm super random now.. Maybe becoz holiday syndrome? lolx.

10:18 PM

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

woah.. eng post for now.. lolx. since everyone was like saying tat chinese de where got ppl wanna read... =.=".....

very busy and tiring day today sia.....

bio lecture early morning was a bore... the professor being invited from NUS gave us a talk on sweat with is like so boring and somehow inrelevant to us? (who will want to knw tat sweat actually contains 100++ proteins and it might jus be able to heal wounds?) lolx.. had a hard time making myself awake like most ppl are.. lolx.. even the jokes tat he cracked doesnt make me laugh..

math lect was okay... kept myself awake by eating sweets.. like tat is the onli for me to stay awake? lolx.. had a hard time following the lect initially.. since still not in the state of lect yet. but the lecturer let us off early.. lolx.. THANKS!!

according to the plan that michelle had told me, we are supposed to stay back after sch after the math lect to celebrate diane and minling late bday. but we drag and drag and drag.. in the end becky jus gave some cookies tat she baked to diane and tat it... lolx... and TATA~!!! went off to eat at the coffee shp with the whole lot 8 of us.. first time gals more than boys.. lolx..

went to kovan for some bowling and pool action.. lolx.. but sadly with the absence of sushan and michelle who had workshops to attend to... PITY YOU~!!! T.T.... lolx...

a great time though... play quite well for pool.. first time.. lolx... bowling was bad in the first game... couldnt find the suitable ball and all the balls are like so oily? which makes my hand oily as well... couldnt get the feel of the game as well.. lolx.. but the exciting part of the second game when zuyao like saying confidently tat he gonna beat zhiyong and thrash us all? in the end we somehow won him by getting all the strikes and spares? lolx... THIS IS FUN~! ^^

went to bugis to wait for the CHATTER 5.... THEY ACTUALLY CHANGED THE MEETING VENUE TO VIVOCITY AFTER I HAD REACHED BUGIS.. ARGH~!! >.<.... stilll it has been a long time since we meet again... (since march or june arh? i forget le. can anyone tell me? lolx...) HAD A SUPER GREAT TIME LAUGHING.... lolx.. didnt feel really hungry... lolx... this most funny part was the last part when we separated as me and RJ went home first.. YH screamed when we boo-ed them from the back? lolx..and everyone was then looking at us? SO EMBARRASSING LA... YH!!!! ALL YOUR FAULT!!!! lolx..... they tried to do the same thing to us though.. as they went to bugis suddenly.... BUT FAILED>.. woots~!!!! haha...

had a superb fun day.. eh CHATTER 5... remember to update me about the outing on christmas and the performance by YH... let go to the one at causeway point instead of paragon which is nearer or u wan it at paragon so can go to shop after tat? lolx.......^^

11:15 PM

Thursday, November 6, 2008

你认为我这么对你 我的心里会好受吗
你认为我想这么做吗

好痛 好痛 我真的好痛

尝试将事情给冲淡 没想到 越弄越惨
我真的不是故意的 也不是有意的

但这能挽回一切吗

2:39 AM

Saturday, November 1, 2008

崩溃了
这几天我崩溃了
伤心 也过伤心了
哭 也哭过了
连续两天的哭 我的眼睛好麻 好痛
而没想到的是 竟在家外哭了
昨日是如此 今日也如此 还哭了差不多三次吧
你说 我是不是很傻

知道你想要离开 到国外继续升学的消息
完完全全震惊了我
好大的一个打击

不想要你离去 但小小的一个我 又有什么能耐使你留下来呢
你懂得做出决定 像我这种旁人的话 你应该不会听进耳吧

偶尔说起话来 甜蜜的你 难道就要这样离开了吗
真的不会记住我们 也不会留恋我们了吗
真的忍心忘了这里的一切吗

好难过 好难受啊

11:19 PM

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

好彷徨啊
一分钟没联络到你时 好孤单 好寂寞 不知所措
虽知道你忙 忙着上课 忙着停课
自私的我 还不停地打扰 不停地烦你
我这么做 是不是很讨人厌

好自私的我
往往想霸占你所有的时间 所有的空档
好抱歉 非常抱歉
我已不知该做些什么了。。。 =(

9:00 PM

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

认识你 似乎走进梦境里
听见你的声音 犹如天使之音
你的笑声 顿时将我的黑暗世界给照的明亮无比
好想 好想 将你融入我的生活
你愿意吗？

10:12 PM

Monday, September 22, 2008

忽然间
觉得很空白 似乎迷失了方向
觉得很迷茫 不知道到底发生了什么

心隐隐地痛着
手不知不觉被握得紧紧的
在掌上留下了深深的凹迹
但 也不觉得疼痛
难道我麻木了吗

10:56 PM