Tuesday, March 15, 2011

hmmm.. this blog seems to be dead for a long time.. should i start reviving it? zzzz.. see if got time bahx.. my life so boring now coz of the irritating national service.. sianz.

11:59 PM

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

无意间的我说了不应该说的话
无端端地将你激怒了
我好后悔啊

好不容易得到你的注意
但都毁在我手里

我好想哭
我只想对你说声对不起

5:03 PM

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

尝试着想把那些不愉快的回忆给埋藏起来
但不知这么搞的 它们似乎长了脚似的
一个个都跑上了脑海里
心情一下子 都被弄差了
好像重新开始
但这么一直觉得我还在原地踏步。

11:00 PM

忽然之间，心里感到有那么一丝丝失魂落魄的感觉
隐隐约约感觉生活少了那么一丁点什么

10:54 PM

Tuesday, December 1, 2009

hmmm.. woah.. it has been a long time since i come to blog and write something here.. almost 9 months le u supposed? if im supposed to talk about everything tat happens within these 9 months... it would take like days and nights... lolx.

A level is finally coming to an end. ^^. time to celebrate for J2s lolx.. but i somehow feel very guilty about A lvl.. coz i didnt study?? if i really do badly for it.. i would have to only myself to blame on? for no reason, i seems to have lost the stamina for studying. i cant seems to concentrate like i did for prelims.. wat i know is i keep falling asleep when i see exam papers and everything? sianz

now.. i should be studying for like the bio mcq tat is coming up on thurs to pull my grades up? but then.. i see the qns i feel like sleeping le.

been working to earn as much money as possible b4 i go in NS sia.. lolx.. so tiring..

would prom be a blast this fri??

P.S.. i know my post suck this time XP

11:38 PM

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

好不知所措啊
今天不小心得罪了你
让你生气了
好后悔 好内疚

心情变得很乱 很低落
变得什么话都不想说

我现在该这么做

9:58 PM

Monday, November 17, 2008

What a bloody day..!!

Have you ever wonder how books can make you bleed? lolx.. It is easy.. just take your fingers and hit it against a hardcover book. And tata~!!! You get a bloody thumb or watsoever.. lolx

Was like doing my usual stock taking chores.... And without looking.. I hit a damn thick book which is like 4 times the H2 Economics book and a HARD cover... bleeding like hell la.. touch water can like pain for 5 mins? lolx...

Hate books now.. Made me lost so much things.. Made me lost BLOOD which is like consists so many things? EG. water, RBC, WBC, platelets, haemoglobin, iron, carbon dioxide, oxygen, hydrocarbonate ions, etc etc.. lolx..

I think I'm super random now.. Maybe becoz holiday syndrome? lolx.

10:18 PM

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

woah.. eng post for now.. lolx. since everyone was like saying tat chinese de where got ppl wanna read... =.=".....

very busy and tiring day today sia.....

bio lecture early morning was a bore... the professor being invited from NUS gave us a talk on sweat with is like so boring and somehow inrelevant to us? (who will want to knw tat sweat actually contains 100++ proteins and it might jus be able to heal wounds?) lolx.. had a hard time making myself awake like most ppl are.. lolx.. even the jokes tat he cracked doesnt make me laugh..

math lect was okay... kept myself awake by eating sweets.. like tat is the onli for me to stay awake? lolx.. had a hard time following the lect initially.. since still not in the state of lect yet. but the lecturer let us off early.. lolx.. THANKS!!

according to the plan that michelle had told me, we are supposed to stay back after sch after the math lect to celebrate diane and minling late bday. but we drag and drag and drag.. in the end becky jus gave some cookies tat she baked to diane and tat it... lolx... and TATA~!!! went off to eat at the coffee shp with the whole lot 8 of us.. first time gals more than boys.. lolx..

went to kovan for some bowling and pool action.. lolx.. but sadly with the absence of sushan and michelle who had workshops to attend to... PITY YOU~!!! T.T.... lolx...

a great time though... play quite well for pool.. first time.. lolx... bowling was bad in the first game... couldnt find the suitable ball and all the balls are like so oily? which makes my hand oily as well... couldnt get the feel of the game as well.. lolx.. but the exciting part of the second game when zuyao like saying confidently tat he gonna beat zhiyong and thrash us all? in the end we somehow won him by getting all the strikes and spares? lolx... THIS IS FUN~! ^^

went to bugis to wait for the CHATTER 5.... THEY ACTUALLY CHANGED THE MEETING VENUE TO VIVOCITY AFTER I HAD REACHED BUGIS.. ARGH~!! >.<.... stilll it has been a long time since we meet again... (since march or june arh? i forget le. can anyone tell me? lolx...) HAD A SUPER GREAT TIME LAUGHING.... lolx.. didnt feel really hungry... lolx... this most funny part was the last part when we separated as me and RJ went home first.. YH screamed when we boo-ed them from the back? lolx..and everyone was then looking at us? SO EMBARRASSING LA... YH!!!! ALL YOUR FAULT!!!! lolx..... they tried to do the same thing to us though.. as they went to bugis suddenly.... BUT FAILED>.. woots~!!!! haha...

had a superb fun day.. eh CHATTER 5... remember to update me about the outing on christmas and the performance by YH... let go to the one at causeway point instead of paragon which is nearer or u wan it at paragon so can go to shop after tat? lolx.......^^

11:15 PM

Thursday, November 6, 2008

你认为我这么对你 我的心里会好受吗
你认为我想这么做吗

好痛 好痛 我真的好痛

尝试将事情给冲淡 没想到 越弄越惨
我真的不是故意的 也不是有意的

但这能挽回一切吗

2:39 AM

Saturday, November 1, 2008

崩溃了
这几天我崩溃了
伤心 也过伤心了
哭 也哭过了
连续两天的哭 我的眼睛好麻 好痛
而没想到的是 竟在家外哭了
昨日是如此 今日也如此 还哭了差不多三次吧
你说 我是不是很傻

知道你想要离开 到国外继续升学的消息
完完全全震惊了我
好大的一个打击

不想要你离去 但小小的一个我 又有什么能耐使你留下来呢
你懂得做出决定 像我这种旁人的话 你应该不会听进耳吧

偶尔说起话来 甜蜜的你 难道就要这样离开了吗
真的不会记住我们 也不会留恋我们了吗
真的忍心忘了这里的一切吗

好难过 好难受啊

11:19 PM

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

好彷徨啊
一分钟没联络到你时 好孤单 好寂寞 不知所措
虽知道你忙 忙着上课 忙着停课
自私的我 还不停地打扰 不停地烦你
我这么做 是不是很讨人厌

好自私的我
往往想霸占你所有的时间 所有的空档
好抱歉 非常抱歉
我已不知该做些什么了。。。 =(

9:00 PM

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

认识你 似乎走进梦境里
听见你的声音 犹如天使之音
你的笑声 顿时将我的黑暗世界给照的明亮无比
好想 好想 将你融入我的生活
你愿意吗？

10:12 PM

Monday, September 22, 2008

忽然间
觉得很空白 似乎迷失了方向
觉得很迷茫 不知道到底发生了什么

心隐隐地痛着
手不知不觉被握得紧紧的
在掌上留下了深深的凹迹
但 也不觉得疼痛
难道我麻木了吗

10:56 PM

我
不知道自己是否做对了
在这种重要时刻
竟然让我喜欢上了你

是我自作多情吗
我愚蠢无比

我应该放弃吗

我不知道

因为我现在真的真的很乱

6:51 PM

Saturday, September 20, 2008

偶然得遇见你 使我知道那么一个和我有着相同命运的人

和你聊起来 十分愉快 畅快 也许是因为我们是同样的人

与你的简讯 使我哭笑不得 暂且忘掉了我一切烦恼 问题

能够认识你是我的荣幸 也庆幸着你给机会让我认识了你

但是 现在最重要的 是你能振作起来 忘了不愉快的往事

10:58 PM

Sunday, September 7, 2008

哭 我哭了 哭得很痛苦
痛 心如刀割的痛
泪 已将我的视线 给弄得模糊了
爱 彻底将我打败了

离开你 也许对我们俩 都有好处
只要你快乐 我也快乐
只要你被欺负 我会挺身而出 为你报仇
不想你伤心

即使我有多么想要在你的身旁
但我不愿意看到你与他分开
在这 我诚心地祝福你们

6:01 PM

我不知道喜欢上你 应不应该
但 我还是情不自禁地喜欢上你了
你的笑声 笑容 眼睛 小手 脸
让我无法忘记
整天想着你
但 我知道 我与你 是不可能的
所以我并不抱得太的期望
因为期望越大 失望越大 伤得越深

4:11 PM

Sunday, August 17, 2008

been a tiring 5 days.. WUSHU COMPETITION... LOL.... been participating and supporting those involved... weekdays have to rush there after school and stay up till late night.. but doesnt matter though.. it was an eye opening for me.. first time lei.. wat can i expect?

hmm.. wanna know the results? lolx.. my coach is "damn good" in coaching us lor... let me see... i think we did "exceptionally well" this time.. over the 5 days.. coach got 9 "champion" this year... woots.

hmm for wed.. we got the first one in female gunshu.. for thurs.. 2 champions in both nanguan (male)and qi xie dui lian.. for sat.. 3 champions for chang quan(male), nanguan (female) and ji ti quan... for sun... 3 champions for nangun female, du shou dui lian and jianshu female....

in addition, nanguan male we got first and second, qi xie tui lian and du shou dui lian we got the first 4 positions.. cool rite?

haha.. but then all these are counted from the bottom.. haha...

in conclusion we didnt do very well... but this is the first time for most of us.. so it didnt really matter.. but wat realy matter is tat everyone put in their very best in this competition le... especially the first timer girls like ZhongWei who hit her head like more than 5 times and ShinYi who had ur knee bruised...

Anyway... good job guys.. even though we didnt win this time.. doesnt mean we cant win next time rite? so let jiayous for the 2 competition next year bahx.. and better dun let coach disappointed le... ^^

10:20 PM

Monday, July 28, 2008

After the answer you gave me today, i finally understand and know your feelings towards me now. I believe i have been a hindrance in your life. Now, i shouldnt hinder you, bother you, disturb you anymore, nor i should harbour anymore wishful thinking towards you. I have been very stupid. Really really dumb. If you dont want to be with me, then why do you have to plant the seed in me? Why do you want to make me fall for you? Why why why? Should i forget about you and carry on with my life? Or should i just do nothing about it and let the seed in me grow into a plant with thorns, prickling the flesh of my heart, causing scars that cannot be healed permanently and blood dripping from the injuries, never get to stop? You dont know that when i know that you were sick, i was so worried about you. I really do hope to rush to your place and take care of you until you are completely recovered from ur illness. You dont know that i have been thinking of you since we last chatted. You dont know that whatever i do, i hope that you will be present to see it happen. I always hope you could accompany me in everything i do, wherever i go. This is the first time someone has made me fall into a love trap whereby i helplessly cannot do anything. And why does it has to be you? To tell the truth, i didnt really mind if it was you, but i just dont understand the way you are treating me. The more you wan to be loved, the more you will get hurt. And i dont like the feeling of it!!!

Do you know that i have been trying my very hard to control myself from crying in school today? I tried to get you out of my mind, but the harder i try, the easier for your image to get back in. i hardly spoke in school today. Acutally i didnt want to. But my mum force me to. I have no mood to study in school when my mind isnt in the right mood. By right, today i should be feeling very tired cause i didnt sleep well last night. But it is only until the last period of the day.. Then i collapse in class. I dunno why i am doing all this.. This is so not me.. Why do this has to happen.? Can we do something to solve all this? Can we walk through this together? Ignore what other people say, what other do to stop us? Can you?

I wanna thank everyone today for showing me your concern. 0804 and mrs chong, THANKS!. i will try to take note of this. But please bear with it for few days okay?

9:09 PM

Sunday, July 27, 2008

been such a long time that i have last updated.... been busy been so tired been so crazy...

didnt done for mid years.. did very very very vry very badly.. 3 pass 3 fail... A D E U U U.. do comment on the grades.. haix.. i gonna regret my JC life like i used to in regretting for my O level.

wushu. planning to quit everything.. dun wanna particiapte in anymore competitions when it is gonna affect my studies..i cnat risk it anymore if i wanna take 4H2 like now...

i dunno wat to say anymore now.. practically no more mood... haix...


anyway. to those who readd my blog... if u dun see me going to school anymore or going online.. dun be surprised.. coz XY will not be on surface anymore.. he will be gone and disappear from earth forever... ^^

10:45 PM

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

hmm.. been a long time since updated.. haha.. this time is requested by diane though. me dun hv time now to update much.. woots~~!

hmm.. been busy with lots of stuffs.. mid years, competitions, project work, and most impt is the very special person.. haha... woots.. gonna named the person as MFBF here., hahaha.. no one know who is this person except the person............

it has been a long time i felt such a feeling again.. and this time the feeling is damnnnnnn strong.. i wonder y... if nv see this person.. me will go crazy.. haha.. siaoz liaoz.. lolx.. i hope this will last.. never felt so in love with someone before. haha.. hmm.. this person know about my feelings can le..

got to get going before me sleep in lessons again.. =(.. haha^^

12:04 AM

Monday, May 19, 2008

默默地哭泣，默默忍受一切折磨，你能够了解我内心的挣扎吗？我从不向你说，但偶尔会表示出一些暗示或提示给你，不过你从来都无法察觉。是你麻木，还是我的提示不够明显？有时，我不知为了你哭泣，为了你与家人吵架，对身边的人漠不关心，这一切值得吗？

你从不有过任何主动，没错的话，大多时候（也许是每一次），都是我开始主动。你常说你忙，没空，难道每天都是这样的吗？那么你要如何解释你哪来的时间去看些闲杂的录影片。你的麻木令我十分反感，有时候我不知应该继续下去吗？你有空看布落格，上网，谈天，为何没时间陪我？难道我不值得拥有你宝贵的时间吗？

即使我有多么的忙，我都会尽量与你联络。但你对我的冷淡使我心灰意冷。有时我想结束这一切，那么我可以脱离这一切问题，但我都会给自己找理由给你机会，不过我又能够继续瞒骗自己多久呢？

你说你喜欢我，爱我，这是真的吗？我看不是。你说过会尽量陪我，但请你告诉我，你几时陪过我，几时找出给我与你相处的时间？即使是短短的五分钟不停泄地交谈，我也会心满意足。可是那么短的五分钟我都不能拥有吗？这是奢侈吗？你常常在前两分钟就不理我了。若你移情别恋，请你告诉我，我能够理解。

你对我的诺言，从我们认识以来，都没有一个做到。我已开始绝望了。偶尔你给我一丝的希望，但这希望都无法长久。刚开始你对我 “热情” ，如今你似乎不将我放在眼里，我一文不值吗？我到底做错了什么？

9:55 PM

Sunday, May 18, 2008

唉！不知已经过了多久，我的心灵越变越空虚了。这令我不知所措，让我无可下手。周身的孤单，令我十分不自在。有时候我想抱头痛哭，将内心里一切切不愉快的事情给发泄出来。偶尔我好想崩溃，想要一了百了，那么我可以脱离一切烦恼。这也许是最傻，但也是最实际的办法。



学校功课的繁重，课外活动的负担，家庭的关系，与其它琐事都让我十分懊恼。



心灵上的空虚，又有谁来填补。无法驱赶的寂寞紧紧围绕着我。在学校我看起来似乎没事，但会有谁明白我的问题。外表看似坚强，内心脆弱，你能看的出来吗？

10:10 PM

Saturday, March 29, 2008

SRY SARAH AND RJ TAT I WASNT ABLE TO BE AT THE AC FAIR WITH BOTH OF YOU!!!

hmm... today quite tirin lorx...

how should i describe events for today?

morn, almost got lost coz duno how to go to the CCAB for the NY Sports Carnival... cant find the bus tat will bring me to the location. almost cried out.. so lame rite?? wahaha

but fortunately, was able to reach there.. though the reportin time i had to reach i was late. almost past CCAB coz i cant see where the buildin until i saw some NY ppl.. woots.

was in Touch Rugby. 0804 won in frisbee and T.R. duno abt orienting.. nv heard anything from them lorz.

after tat went to hougang for lunch.. where is fun part of the day begins. Ate at Ajisen Ramen. after our orders, we danced NY 30th and half of 29 SC dance. After our food. we danced the 3 mass dances again.. when payin the bill.. we danced again.. then we went to a void deck and we DANCED AGAIN... WOOOOOTS.

we are like sooooooo enthu in NY dances.. but the embarrassin fact is tat everyone is lookin at us... soo MALU.. haha.. but then it was all fun...

hmmm... a brief review.. coz too tired to elaborate more.

did i mention tat we danced at the CCAB also. but in a shaded area... however, there is full of Raffles ppl.. im sure we have became a laughing stock for them.

8:58 PM

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Love comes in different flavours: sweet, sour, bitter, spicy. Each taste has its own unique sort of feelings and gan jue.

Sweet: the romantic period whereby parties feel the love for each other, the care and concern shown, the times where the loved one are continously appearing in one's mind for no reason, leading perhaps to lovesick. The presence of each other company is definitely comforting to one when both couldnt meet each other for quite a period of time.

Spicy: the passion of love for each other, the hotness level of the relationship, the committment tat is ready to be placed into the current relationship one will be in now, the initial feelings for each other when both get together into a relationship.

Bitter: the periods and times when both parties miss each other, the "torture" of not being able to meet each other, the times when both parties argue and unable to come to a conclusion, the times when both parties require a timeout which is requested by a party so tat he/she can think thoroughly about certain issues.

Sour: the times of jealousy arise when one couldnt hv the opportunity to spend time with his/her partner while others get the chance to. the selfishness, the possessiveness, the jealousness, the anger, the fear of being dumped while the person runs away and be with someone else. the period of uncertainty, the inability to place full trust though one wants to on the partner, due to th fact tat the relationship is not stable, not long enough , not really wat both the parties wanted it to be, not suitable for each other, incompatiable, etc.

NOTE: wat i wrote maybe be nonsensical, or watsoever. it is definitely grammatically wrong and it may mean no sense to. i jus dunno wat im doin and thinkin when im writin this post out.

8:32 PM

IM GETTING SOOOOO EMO NOWADAYS.....

And im startin to 'hate' 0804 le.. coz the whole class except dalvin(who doesnt know wat is going on) is hiding a secret from me. and no matter how i force it out from them. they jus wouldnt say it. hate it hate it hate it... ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! what is going on tmr tat i couldnt know wat will be happening? im gonna talk back my words durin the level camp. initially i said "let love each other instead of hatin each other." now i wan to change it to "let hate each other instead of lovin each other."

8:26 PM

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

i dunno whether i made the right choice to go into NY anot.. Since after march in NY, things haven been really good for me. Though my class are a great bunch of people, but there are some things and some memories that i dun wish to remember or have it.

been missin PJ since the very first day i enter NY.even though i crash the orientation in PJ, it jus made me miss it more instead of lettin me treat it as a farewell night for it. I missed the people there, the frens, teachers, the environment, the canteen, the lecture threatre, the parade square, the window, the santuary, etc etc.

though stayin in NY wasnt a bore, but recent events made me hope that if i had stayed in PJ. none of it will happen. i dun wish to elaborate about these events(sry to those who are readin this. but the person may know who am i referring to.).

waitin and waitin, my patience is truly running out.. definitely. i could no longer take the waitin anymore. it jus kept makin me unbearable.

JC wasnt as easy as i initially expected. Esp when im takin 4H2 now. i dunno how am i gg to balance my studies and my frens in future if i still dun concentrate on my sch work and keep thinkin of something else....

ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT SHOULD I DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

9:35 PM

Saturday, February 23, 2008

I LOVE YOU!!!

However, after the answer you gave me today, i finally understand and know your feelings towards me now. I believe i have been a hindrance in your life. Now, i shouldnt hinder you, bother you, disturb you anymore, nor i should harbour anymore wishful thinking towards you.

I have been very stupid. Really really dumb. I should have gotten the hint when you have been trying to avoid me by not picking up my calls and not replying my smses. I dont know why your attitude towards me always changes and differs everytime i talk to you. Sometimes warm, sometimes cold. How ironic!!!! I hate it.

If you want to ignore me, why do you have to plant the seed in me? Why do you want to make me fall for you when you dont even want to have any contact with me? Why why why?

Should i forget about you and carry on with my life? Or should i just do nothing about it and let the seed in me grow into a plant with thorns, prickling the flesh of my heart, causing scars that cannot be healed permanently and blood dripping from the injuries, never get to stop?

You dont know that when i know that you were sick, i was so worried about you. I really do hope to rush to your place and take care of you until you are completely recovered from ur illness. You dont know that i have been thinking of you since we last chatted. You dont know that whatever i do, i hope that you will be present to see it happen. I always hope you could accompany me in everything i do, wherever i go.

This is the first time someone has made me fall into a love trap whereby i helplessly cannot do anything. And why does it has to be you?

To tell the truth, i didnt really mind if it was you, but i just dont understand the way you are treating me.


The more you wan to be loved, the more you will get hurt. And i dont like the feeling of it!!!

9:48 PM

I MISS PJC ORIENTATION.... AND ALSO CHATTER 5!!!!

9:47 PM

this post is for 22/2/2008 (which is yesterday.. haha)

i simply love the orientation at PJC... O2 was far more better than O1... everyone was so HIGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!! IT WAS SO FUNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!! best ever in my life....WOAH!!!! I SIMPLY LOVE IT!!!!!

i went to appeal at PJC this afternoon str after i ended my lesson at NYJC.... the guard seems to like believe the reason i gave him which is the same as 21/2 whereby i crash PJ too.. Join yuhui clan for cheers songs and everything....

the orientation finale was wat im expectin for my purpose for crashin into PJC. i simply love the finale this time around. i was super HIGH.... but the sad part is that it rained.. but still it didnt wash away our highness... i was screamin like hell and ppl were all lookin at me sarah and yuhui...

fun fun fun fun fun fun fun fun... this is wat i can say about the finale... though at one point.. i did feel wan to cry...

HOWEVER, the prob now is tat PJC is acceptin me to study at the college... but then NYJC is offerin me 4H2.. so confused.. dunno wat to choose.. and AJC is still not givin me a response... will be callin them up later at a later time...

P.S. I HAVE A TERRIBLE SORE THROAT NOW... THE SCREAMINGS ARE MAKIN ME PAY... BUT THEY ARE WORTHWHILE.... MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!

12:10 AM