Monday, July 28, 2008

After the answer you gave me today, i finally understand and know your feelings towards me now. I believe i have been a hindrance in your life. Now, i shouldnt hinder you, bother you, disturb you anymore, nor i should harbour anymore wishful thinking towards you. I have been very stupid. Really really dumb. If you dont want to be with me, then why do you have to plant the seed in me? Why do you want to make me fall for you? Why why why? Should i forget about you and carry on with my life? Or should i just do nothing about it and let the seed in me grow into a plant with thorns, prickling the flesh of my heart, causing scars that cannot be healed permanently and blood dripping from the injuries, never get to stop? You dont know that when i know that you were sick, i was so worried about you. I really do hope to rush to your place and take care of you until you are completely recovered from ur illness. You dont know that i have been thinking of you since we last chatted. You dont know that whatever i do, i hope that you will be present to see it happen. I always hope you could accompany me in everything i do, wherever i go. This is the first time someone has made me fall into a love trap whereby i helplessly cannot do anything. And why does it has to be you? To tell the truth, i didnt really mind if it was you, but i just dont understand the way you are treating me. The more you wan to be loved, the more you will get hurt. And i dont like the feeling of it!!!

Do you know that i have been trying my very hard to control myself from crying in school today? I tried to get you out of my mind, but the harder i try, the easier for your image to get back in. i hardly spoke in school today. Acutally i didnt want to. But my mum force me to. I have no mood to study in school when my mind isnt in the right mood. By right, today i should be feeling very tired cause i didnt sleep well last night. But it is only until the last period of the day.. Then i collapse in class. I dunno why i am doing all this.. This is so not me.. Why do this has to happen.? Can we do something to solve all this? Can we walk through this together? Ignore what other people say, what other do to stop us? Can you?

I wanna thank everyone today for showing me your concern. 0804 and mrs chong, THANKS!. i will try to take note of this. But please bear with it for few days okay?

9:09 PM